Saturday, 25 April 2026
Chelsea Football Club are now four years into the project of owners Clearlake Capital. During that time, they have spent almost £2billion in transfer fees, had 7 different managers, won two minor pieces of silverware and qualified for the Champions League once. As the current season reaches its climax, the fourth of an apparent five year plan, the club sits in 8th place, one defeat away from the bottom half of the table, having lost five in a row without scoring a single goal - the first time this has happened to the club since the sinking of the Titanic. By any metric, the Clearlake era has been a failure. But why?
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It's hard to believe, but as recently as 2021, Chelsea were crowned Champions of Europe, the highest accolade in club football, for the second time in nine years. This victory capped off a glittering 18 year period of ownership under Roman Abramovich which saw the club claim five Premier League titles, two Champions Leagues, five FA Cups, three League Cups, two Europa Leagues, the Super Cup and the former Club World Cup (now Intercontinental Cup). During this time, whatever you might think of them, Chelsea were undoubtedly one of the world's biggest clubs.
During this period, Chelsea even managed to become profitable as a business for the first time in their history. By contrast, the new owners have just recorded the largest single-year loss in Premier League history, and are in very real threat of flunking the already absurdly lenient Financial Fair Play rules. The idea that anyone could take such a successful club, invest so much into that club, and turn them into mid-table club with solvency issues, in a state of constant crisis, is genuinely difficult to believe.
So what is going wrong? To answer this question, let's quickly run through the events of these past four years.
Season 1: 20 players signed, £574 million spent. Successful Champions League winning manager Thomas Tuchel is sacked 1 month into the season. Reason: disagreed with owners' transfer policy. Replaced by Graham Potter, a manager with no track record of silverware whose claim to fame is doing better than one might expect of a club like Brighton. He lasts five months. Frank Lampard comes in, but by then the bottom has already fallen out. Final position: 12th. Silverware: none.
Season 2: 13 players signed, £407 million spent. Well-regarded manager Mauricio Pochettino is brought in. Struggles initially, but by the end of the season has managed to work his available resources into a credible team. Sacked at the end of the season despite the strong finish. Reason: disagreed with the owners' transfer policy. Final position: 6th. Silverware: none.
Season 3: 11 players signed, £220 million spent. Controversially appoints Enzo Maresca, a manager with no top flight experience. Despite all odds, Maresca manages to achieve some consistency and stability, claiming the first pieces of silverware of the Clearlake era, as well as a top four Champions League qualifying finish. Final position: 4th. Silverware: Europa Conference League, Club World Cup.
Season 4: 19 players signed, £311 million spent. Decent start to the season, carrying on from Maresca's promising first season. Competing at the top of the table, with positive results including the 3-0 demolishings of PSG and Barcelina. Maresca sacked half way through the season. Reason: disagreed with the owners' transfer policy. Inexperienced Ligue 1 manager Liam Rosenier brought in. Club slumps into record-breaking loss streak. Sacked after 3 months. Final position: TBD, but currently 6th, bottom half plausible. Silverware: TBD, but none expected.
A few things stand out from these four seasons, but none more so than the managerial turnover. Clearlake's managerial appointments have tended to fall into one of two categories: hopelessly unqualified yesmen, or talented managers who end up leaving over disagreements with the owners over the state of the squad.
What disagreements might these be? Well of the roughly 60 players signed by Clearlake, only 7 have been first-team level defenders. Only 1 has been a first-team level goalkeeper (and not an especially consistent one). A full 20 have been attacking midfielders. Fewer than half have featured for the Chelsea first team more than once. The average age of these players has been just 21 years old.
The result is a Chelsea side that ranks amongst the youngest in the Premier League, blessed with an array of attacking talent, but a paucity of quality or experience in defence. This is a severely unbalanced squad. This fact is most perfectly demonstrated by this season's curtain-raiser, a season which Chelsea entered full of confidence following their Club World Cup victory, with ambitions of challenging for the title. Despite this, the club lined up against Crystal Palace with a starting centre-back pairing that consisted of an untested Academy player on one side, and a left back on the other, with no cover available on the bench. All that money spent, and not one single first team centre-back available. The fact that Chelsea failed to bring in a replacement for Levi Colwill after the star defender's season-ending injury in the summer is quite inexplicable, and reportedly an early source of major discord between the owners and then manager Maresca.
Next, consider the high turnover of playing staff. 60 players signed in 4 years is astonishing. 117 players sold or released during that same period is eye-watering. Now, in fairness, some of that high outgoing is due to the high productivity of the club's academy, but it still paitns a picture. It is no wonder the club can't achieve any level of consistency or chemistry with the constantly shifting personnel. With the vast sums of money spent, we're pretty much locked into a cycle of having to sell in order to balance the books, so don't expect this to change any time soon.
There are the injuries. Chelsea currently top the Premier League injury table with eight first team injuries. This has been pretty consistent across these four years, with double digit injury counts common. This decline in player fitness has coincided with the owners' much reported "reimagining" of the club's medical resources, which included sacking a significant chunk of the medical staff, with many functions outsourced to celebrity doctors with minimal relevant experience.
Then there are the managerial appointments themselves. None have had extensive experience, aside from Pochettino. Most have exited explicitly for not toeing the company line. There is the very real suggestion that the primary qualifying feature of these appointments has been a willingness to defer to Clearlake management and follow orders. I have nothing against Rosenier personally, but for someone so clearly ill-suited for the job to have been appointed, ostensibly just because he wouldn't question his owners' poor squad-building choices, shows an alarming lack of judgement.
I'm barely even touching on the business side of things. Even aside from the financial losses, we are now four years into Clearlake ownership and they haven't been able to sign a shirt sponsor. I can't remember an instance of a top flight club failing to do so even once, let alone four times. It is unthinkable. No wonder the club is bleeding money.
While these issues are all very real and very significant, perhaps the biggest issue has been the simple lack of self-awareness of the owners. Upon their arrival, one of the first statements that Clearlake co-founder Behdad Eghbali made was that the club had not been "terribly well managed on the football, sporting or promotional side" under the previous owners - a comment that has attracted much derision from fans in the years since with how far back the club has moved in every single one of those fronts during that time. In a recent interview, director Danny Finkelstein stated, amongst other things, that it was "pretty fucking obvious" that Clearlake were in the process of building one of the best teams in the world, and that statistics prove that there is no correlation between the manager and results. Meanwhile, in reality, I can't think of a more clear demonstration of the difference a manager can make than the switch from Maresca to Rosenier, which saw a top four-challenging club sink into a record loss-streak, despite consisting of the exact same players.
Clearlake like to frame themselves as radicals looking to upend the sport. But the truth is that nothing they are doing is new, nor has anything they are doing ever proven to produce sustained success. Other clubs have focused their transfer strategy on youth (see late '00s Arsenal) and failed to generate success. Other clubs have focused their transfer strategy on attacking players while neglecting defence (see the worst excesses of Galactico-era Real Madrid) and failed to generate success. Clearlake are proof incarnate that spending money doesn't inevitably bring success if you don't know how to spend it well.
Now, I don't actually think this club is too far off being a competitive outfit. They just need to better balance the squad with some targeted investments in weak positions, mainly defence and goalkeeper. They need a talented and proven manager to run the thing, and they need to actually listen to that manager and let them make the football decisions. Will any of these things happen? I very much doubt it.
I will make no secret of my antipathy for these owners. Despite all of the failures, all of the setbacks, all of the crises, these owners keep doing the same thing over and over, and don't seem to have any capacity to concede that they might be the problem. Every success they have achieved, seems almost to have come about by accident, and at every turn, just when things start to click, they upend everything for no reason beyond their own vanity. May both sides of their pillow be forever too warm.
Saturday, 14 March 2026

Welcome back to The Ephemeric. It is Oscar season again, and you know what that means: more last minute predictions scribbled down during my 2 hours per day of non-working time in March. This year is a tricky one, I have to say. Two obvious contenders for the big prizes: One Battle After Another, an obvious sort of Oscar favourite by a filmmaker the Academy loves, and Sinners, a bit of a surprise package genre-piece that has shocked just about everyone by becoming the single most Oscar-nominated film of all time. Does that make it the best film? Maybe, but the Academy isnt always so logical. As usual, I will predict the likely winner for each prize, and then bore everyone with why I think the Academy was wrong. Ready? Alright, let's get to it.
Best Picture
Nominations:
- Bugonia – Ed Guiney, Andrew Lowe, Yorgos Lanthimos, Emma Stone, and Lars Knudsen, producers
- F1 – Chad Oman, Brad Pitt, Dede Gardner, Jeremy Kleiner, Joseph Kosinski, and Jerry Bruckheimer, producers
- Frankenstein – Guillermo del Toro, J. Miles Dale, and Scott Stuber, producers
- Hamnet – Liza Marshall, Pippa Harris, Nicolas Gonda, Steven Spielberg, and Sam Mendes, producers
- Marty Supreme – Eli Bush, Ronald Bronstein, Josh Safdie, Anthony Katagas, and Timothée Chalamet, producers
- One Battle After Another – Adam Somner (p.n.), Sara Murphy, and Paul Thomas Anderson, producers
- The Secret Agent – Emilie Lesclaux, producer
- Sentimental Value – Maria Ekerhovd and Andrea Berentsen Ottmar, producers
- Sinners – Zinzi Coogler, Sev Ohanian, and Ryan Coogler, producers
- Train Dreams – Marissa McMahon, Teddy Schwarzman, Will Janowitz, Ashley Schlaifer, and Michael Heimler, producers
Who should really win: Sinners
Best Director
Nominations:
- Chloé Zhao – Hamnet
- Josh Safdie – Marty Supreme
- Paul Thomas Anderson – One Battle After Another
- Joachim Trier – Sentimental Value
- Ryan Coogler – Sinners
Who should really win: Ryan Coogler - Sinners
Best Actor
Nominations:
- Timothée Chalamet – Marty Supreme as Marty Mauser
- Leonardo DiCaprio – One Battle After Another as Bob Ferguson
- Ethan Hawke – Blue Moon as Lorenz Hart
- Michael B. Jordan – Sinners as Elijah "Smoke" Moore / Elias "Stack" Moore
- Wagner Moura – The Secret Agent as Armando Solimões / Marcelo Alves / Fernando Solimões
Who should really win: Michael B. Jordan – Sinners as Elijah "Smoke" Moore / Elias "Stack" Moore
Best Actress
Nominations:
- Jessie Buckley – Hamnet as Agnes Shakespeare
- Rose Byrne – If I Had Legs I'd Kick You as Linda
- Kate Hudson – Song Sung Blue as Claire Sardina
- Renate Reinsve – Sentimental Value as Nora Borg
- Emma Stone – Bugonia as Michelle Fuller
Who should really win: Jessie Buckley – Hamnet as Agnes Shakespeare
Best Supporting Actor
Nominations:
- Benicio del Toro – One Battle After Another as Sensei Sergio St. Carlos
- Jacob Elordi – Frankenstein as The Creature
- Delroy Lindo – Sinners as Delta Slim
- Sean Penn – One Battle After Another as Col. Steven J. Lockjaw
- Stellan Skarsgård – Sentimental Value as Gustav Borg
Who should really win: Sean Penn – One Battle After Another as Col. Steven J. Lockjaw
Best Supporting Actress
Nominations:
- Elle Fanning – Sentimental Value as Rachel Kemp
- Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas – Sentimental Value as Agnes Borg Pettersen
- Amy Madigan – Weapons as Gladys
- Wunmi Mosaku – Sinners as Annie
- Teyana Taylor – One Battle After Another as Perfidia Beverly Hills
Who should really win: Amy Madigan – Weapons as Gladys
Best Original Screenplay
Nominations:
- Blue Moon – Robert Kaplow
- It Was Just an Accident – Jafar Panahi; in collaboration with Nader Saïvar, Shadmehr Rastin, and Mehdi Mahmoudian
- Marty Supreme – Ronald Bronstein and Josh Safdie
- Sentimental Value – Eskil Vogt and Joachim Trier
- Sinners – Ryan Coogler
Who should really win: Sinners – Ryan Coogler
Best Adapted Screenplay
Nominations:
- Bugonia – Will Tracy; based on the film Save the Green Planet! by Jang Joon-hwan
- Frankenstein – Guillermo del Toro; based on the novel by Mary Shelley
- Hamnet – Chloé Zhao and Maggie O'Farrell; based on the novel by Maggie O'Farrell
- One Battle After Another – Paul Thomas Anderson; based on the novel Vineland by Thomas Pynchon
- Train Dreams – Clint Bentley and Greg Kwedar; based on the novella by Denis Johnson
Who should really win: Train Dreams – Clint Bentley and Greg Kwedar; based on the novella by Denis Johnson
So there you have it, The Ephemeric's picks for the year. Enjoy the Oscars tonight, and when the results go as predicted, remember that you heard it here first!
Monday, 9 March 2026
Hello and welcome back to 2026's final post from the Hot List. This week we will be looking at the most exciting new movies set to hit the big screen in 2026, after the cutoff point for this year's awards season.

So without further delay, the key films to keep an eye on in the coming year (trailers linked in the title where available), starting with number 15:
15. 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

Release Date: Out Now
14. The Odyssey

Release Date: July 2026
13. Cry to Heaven

Release Date: TBA 2026
12. The Great Beyond

11. The Adventures of Cliff Booth

Release Date: TBA 2026

Release Date: December 2026
9. Flowervale Street

Release Date: August 2026
8. I Play Rocky

Release Date: November 2026
7. Jack of Spades

Release Date: TBA 2026
6. Digger

Release Date: October 2026
5. Wild Horse Nine

Release Date: November 2026
4. Klara and the Sun

Release Date: TBA 2026
3. The Social Reckoning

Release Date: October 2026
Release Date: June 2026
1. Project Hail Mary

So there you have it folks: The 2026 Hot List. I will be back with many more articles in due course, but for now let's make 2026 a great year together.
Sunday, 22 February 2026
Welcome back to The Ephemeric's 2026 Hot List. This week we will be having a look at the most exciting new music due for release in the coming year.

So without further ado, here is our list of the top albums to keep an eye on in 2026, starting with number 15:
15. "Honora" by Flea (New band)

Release Date: March 2026
14. "The Former Site Of" by The New Pornographers

Release Date: March 2026

Release Date: March 2026
12. Blousey (New band)


Release Date: Spring 2026
10. "Romanticize the Dive" by Metric

Release Date: April 2026
9. "Hen's Teeth" by Iron & Wine

Release Date: February 2026
8. Recoilette (New band)

Release Date: TBD 2026

Release Date: May 2026

Release Date: TBD 2026

Release Date: TBD 2026
4. Braxe + Falcon (New band)

Release Date: TBD 2026

Release Date: February 2026

Release Date: TBD 2026
1. The Avalanches

Release Date: TBD 2026
So there you have it folks: 2026 in music. Tune in next week for this year's final Hot List, where we look at the most exciting new movies in 2026.
Saturday, 14 February 2026

So here it is, our list of the top 10 theatrical productions to keep an eye on in 2026, perhaps with a slight London and Zurich bias, starting with number 10:
10. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Dale Wasserman, at the Old Vic




6. "Ivanov" by Anton Chekhov at the Bridge Theatre

5. "Monster's Paradise" by Olga Neuwirth, Opernhaus Zurich

4. "War Horse" by Nick Stafford, at the National Theatre

3. "Arcadia" by Tom Stoppard, at the Old Vic

2. "The Story" by Tracey Scott Wilson, at the National Theatre

1. "Dracula" by Kip Williams, at the Noel Coward Theatre

So there you have it folks: 2026 in theatre. Tune in soon for our next instalment of the Hot List, covering the essential new music coming this year!




